Ronald Susilo is preparing to take legal action against former fiancee Li Jiawei to claim his share of a car and a condominium they had bought while they were together (The Sunday Times, page 44; Sport section)
Here I list down 4 reasons why they won't make a good couple in the first place. And by the way, I have thought about those reasons while they were still together.
1. Ronald Susilo is Indonesian-born chinese while Li Jiawei is China-born chinese. Although Susilo is a chinese by race, he doesn't speak chinese at home just like most of Indonesian chinese like me. So, it would be difficult for him to communicate with Li who speaks limited English like what newspapers quoted.
2. Susilo is the youngest child in his family while Li is the only child. That makes Susilo's personality a bit like "mummy's boy" and Li's to be more decisive, quick-tempered, and used to getting her way (that's also what newspapers quoted).
Susilo took the initiative to understand Li, for example by resisting the temptation to get angry when she is angry to save them from quarreling. On the other hand, Li didn't understand Susilo.. She could not see why he had to consult his parents when he bought the car!
Hello Miss Li Jiawei... I do not see any childishness when we consult our parents before buying a car or a house. I don't know if you are super rich that buying a car is like buying groceries for you, but if I were Susilo, I would consult my parents as well. Not mainly for getting their opinion, but to give them the respect they deserve as my parents. Whose parents do not love when their children ask them... "Mum, Dad, I need your opinion"?
3. Li Jiawei didn't have confidence in their relationship. She told her friends "I had known long ago that the relationship was never going to last." OMYGOSH! If you start a relationship and think it's not sustainable, why you must start a relationship in the first place? To gain some experience, to put it in your "Love resume"? Rubbish!
4. Susilo is way too cooperative, forgiving, and places too much trust on her. He didn't even ask Miss Li to have his name on the car and condominium THEY bought together. He assumed they are going to get married anyway, so why bother with the ownership stuff and everything. For Goodness sake, noone can guarantee that a marriage can last. And worse still, they were just dating, so assuming they will get married at the end is just WAYYYY too risky.
Lessons of the day:
- Try to understand the compatibility of your partner before making any decision pertaining relationship and such. Just like trying to fit a square box into a circle hole, it's not that you can't; you can, but it will hurt a lot and for most people, the injuries caused are unbearable. It's better to date someone with matching personalities.
- Love is one thing, and money is another. Don't mix them up! Although you are 99.99999% sure you two are getting married, you better make sure everything is black and white. We don't know if that 0.000001% will come out. Better prepare than sorry!
Here I list down 4 reasons why they won't make a good couple in the first place. And by the way, I have thought about those reasons while they were still together.
1. Ronald Susilo is Indonesian-born chinese while Li Jiawei is China-born chinese. Although Susilo is a chinese by race, he doesn't speak chinese at home just like most of Indonesian chinese like me. So, it would be difficult for him to communicate with Li who speaks limited English like what newspapers quoted.
2. Susilo is the youngest child in his family while Li is the only child. That makes Susilo's personality a bit like "mummy's boy" and Li's to be more decisive, quick-tempered, and used to getting her way (that's also what newspapers quoted).
Susilo took the initiative to understand Li, for example by resisting the temptation to get angry when she is angry to save them from quarreling. On the other hand, Li didn't understand Susilo.. She could not see why he had to consult his parents when he bought the car!
Hello Miss Li Jiawei... I do not see any childishness when we consult our parents before buying a car or a house. I don't know if you are super rich that buying a car is like buying groceries for you, but if I were Susilo, I would consult my parents as well. Not mainly for getting their opinion, but to give them the respect they deserve as my parents. Whose parents do not love when their children ask them... "Mum, Dad, I need your opinion"?
3. Li Jiawei didn't have confidence in their relationship. She told her friends "I had known long ago that the relationship was never going to last." OMYGOSH! If you start a relationship and think it's not sustainable, why you must start a relationship in the first place? To gain some experience, to put it in your "Love resume"? Rubbish!
4. Susilo is way too cooperative, forgiving, and places too much trust on her. He didn't even ask Miss Li to have his name on the car and condominium THEY bought together. He assumed they are going to get married anyway, so why bother with the ownership stuff and everything. For Goodness sake, noone can guarantee that a marriage can last. And worse still, they were just dating, so assuming they will get married at the end is just WAYYYY too risky.
Lessons of the day:
- Try to understand the compatibility of your partner before making any decision pertaining relationship and such. Just like trying to fit a square box into a circle hole, it's not that you can't; you can, but it will hurt a lot and for most people, the injuries caused are unbearable. It's better to date someone with matching personalities.
- Love is one thing, and money is another. Don't mix them up! Although you are 99.99999% sure you two are getting married, you better make sure everything is black and white. We don't know if that 0.000001% will come out. Better prepare than sorry!
- People say love is blind. Yeah right. Because it is blind, you better have a super sharp ears and smart brain to decide whether that someone is the right person for you. Listen to your friends, your parents, and anyone you trust and knows you quite well. They might see something that you do not see because we just fall in love just like what Susilo said to newspaper in 2004 "I love everything about her." I can't believe if there is someone whom I like everything about him/her... Usually we don't love everything about them, but we accept it anyway.
I don't know whether the newspaper is objective while judging the matter. Assuming it's objective, I must say, Ronald Susilo is a good man, one in a million. He is talented, ambitious, smart, rich, romantic, gentle, good-looking, sincere, and honest. Maybe his biggest flaw is... he dated a wrong girl.
2 comments:
i think everyone should not blaim li jiawei for the rocky romance. ronald susilo and li jiawei should both take the blaim for their "failed" relationship. it is not fair that everyone pushed the blaim to her. maybe both did not get along well
i agree with ben completely. they are just incompatible from the start, with too many greatly contrasting differences which only can be overcome if both parties are giving and commited. but lijiawei doesnt seem commited and giving enough.
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