Monday, April 30, 2007

Exams R Over!! Yayy...

OK, the title speaks the message.

After more than 20 days of hard work (incl. preparation), finally I can take a deep breath... My exams are over, officially 2 hours ago. Usually after exam, I will transform myself to a pig, I will sleep as long as I want (without any alarm, of course.). However, because I slept for 12 hours yesterday, I just can't sleep now.

For me, since long time ago, the last exam is always the best, same as today. It's quite relieving, because I was sick for the past two days. Luckily my performance didn't drop significantly. Thank God for that...

After exam, these are some of the things I need to do:

1. Lose weight!! Exam is a terrible time for diet, and I had proven that statement so many times. Now, it's time for me to get back to my ideal weight. Losing 1.5 kg by the end of this month and losing 4 kg for the long term. I will be happy enough already..

2. Read some books in my shelf.

3. Apply for internship job.

4. Watch Korean dramas... a lot of it! Yay! Can't wait!! :D

For those who haven't finished their exam, jia you... :)

Friday, April 27, 2007

Women In My Life...

Seriously, what can a man do without women's support?

OK, in this post, I would like to thank 10 most influential women in my life. I call them influential because they are the ones who shape my life the most. I have some bestfriends who are not in the list, not because they are not important. They are definitely important. However, they gave less influence to my life compared to those 10, because, maybe, they have similar character with me, or they are too humble. If I were to thank every women, I think I have to write at least 100 of them here, which is way too boring, isn't it?

Ready? Here it is..

10. Lina
She is my bestfriend for more than 7 years (one of the longest). The last time I met her is last Christmas holiday.. She is smart, friendly, beautiful, but, too bad, she is attached =P

9. A girl with initial name J.
The first girl who expressed her love to me when I was 11 years old. Oh gal, I didn't know what love is at that time, so sorry about that. I was quite surprised when you left our home town without telling me (or maybe I was too ignorant). However, deep inside my heart, you are indeed a sweet girl with a big heart. I hope you always be.

8. Olivia.
She is also one of my lifelong bestfriends. She taught me how to be strong despite all circumstances. I thought as a president of my school's Student Body, I was strong enough. However, she prove me wrong.

7. My music teacher in Secondary school.
She taught me how to be confident. She also taught me how to be responsible and how to be strong. Btw, she is the one who made me cry in public, the first and the last time in my life.

6. My ex 4 years ago (with initial name B)
OK, If I were to describe what influence you make in my life, it's way too long. However, one thing for sure, I learnt that Long-Distance relationship is definitely not easy. However.. girl, despite everything, you teach me patience better than anybody else. You have a special place in my heart that nobody can take. A sweet girl like you deserves no less than a truly prince.

5. My Grandma.
She is a very succesful entrepreneur and a really nice person. She knew how to handle situation well and she understood people skill very well. She passed away 4 years ago.

4. Yulia
She is smart, beautiful, and friendly. A girl with a great sense of humour. She can handle difficult situations well and she is also very calm, cool and strong. OK, the list goes on... I used to love her for about 7 months before I decided to give up because of something (you can find it in one of my post, I guess about March 2006)

3. My Primary 6 teacher.
What makes her outshines my other teachers is.. the way she talks. She is a teacher who seldom praised student's achievement. However, she knew how to challenge us to a higher level. She positioned herself as a coach for me, which made me really motivated to do my best.

2. Renata
She is the one who influenced me and shaped my character the most, beside my family members. A very intelligent student who is indeed very well-rounded also. She has a heart made of gold, a stunning charisma, and a very fascinating upbringing. However, what makes me impressed at that time was her level of maturity. She knew how to handle difficult situations. One of her sayings to me is "I always pray, not to get victory everytime. I always pray so that I can be strong no matter what." Amazing huh?
Btw, I used to love her for more than 2 years (we made a big headline in our school for years :p) However, now she is attached to an amazing man, who is also my friend. I really wish two of you the very best... :)

1. My Mom
There's no question about why I place my mom in the first of my list. She is definitely the most amazing woman I've ever met. She is the strongest individual I've ever seen. She is the one whom opinion I respect the most in this world. And no question, she is the reason I am still here. She is the reason I keep running although I want to give up. She is everything to me and indeed I am nothing without her.

Again, I wanna thank 10 most influential women and more than 100 of the rest who have shaped my life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Love - Redefined...

I have just visited my friend's blog..

His post (titled "when i say i love you"), is really fascinating. I don't really know him very well. However, by reading his post, I can guess what kind of person he is (though I might be wrong, who knows..)

Because that blog is written in Indonesian, I shall translate some sentences for the benefit of non-Indonesian speakers..

"Dulu saya berpikir cinta adalah sesuatu yang amat sangat rumit untuk didefinisikan, lebih dari apa yang dapat kita pikirkan, sangat kompleks dan sangat abstrak. Saya menganggap cinta benar2 melibatkan emosi semata dan benar2 bergantung pada suasana hati. Sekarang saya berpikir kalau cinta itu seharusnya simple dan murni. Cinta yang sejati harus diberikan kepada orang lain secara tulus dan murni. Cinta lebih dari emosi belaka, tetapi cinta adalah sebuah komitmen. Cinta bukanlah sebuah perasaan yang bisa muncul dan bisa hilang, tetapi cinta itu ada dan tidak akan pernah hilang jika kita mau memberikannya kepada seseorang."

I used to think that Love is very difficult to describe, more than what we can think. It's very complex and abstract. It depends on the situation and our moods. However, now, I think that Love should be simple and pure. It must be given to other people sincerely and purely. It's more than just emotion, it's a commitment. It's not just a temporary feeling. It does exist and we won't lose it if we want to give it to someone

After that, he gave a definition of Love according to the Bible (he is a Christian, so am I. So I know that he quoted this paragraph from the Bible.)

Love is patient and kind
It does not envy,
It does not parade itself,
It is not puffed up,
It does not behave rudely,
It does not seek its own interest,
It is not provoked,
It thinks no evil, It does not rejoice in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth,
Bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hopes all things, Endures all things, Love never fails.

Sering kali kita dikendalikan keadaan. Tatkala seseorang memberi kita hadiah, seseorang memberi kita perhatian, seseorang mendukung kita, ataupun seseorang sudah menjadi seperti yang kita harapkan, kita begitu mudah mengatakan "aku mencintaimu". Bisakah kita tetap berkata "aku mencintaimu" ketika seseorang sudah menyakiti kita, melakukan hal yang kasar terhadap kita, lalai memberi yang terbaik untuk kita, atau bahkan membenci kita?

Quite often, we are directed by situation (we act according to the situation - my version). When someone is kind to us, it's easy for us to say "I love you". However, can we say "I love you" also when that someone hurt us, do something rude to us, fail to give us the best, or even hate us?

Mungkin ini terdengar terlalu idealis bagi kebanyakan orang yang menganggap hal ini mustahil dan tidak akan mungkin dilakukan kebanyakan orang. Betul, saya setuju. Setiap orang memiliki tendensi untuk meminta dan mengharapkan lebih dari seseorang.

Maybe it sounds too idealistic for most people. It may sound impossible. I agree. Every human has the tendency to ask more and expect more.

Jikalau kita memiliki seseorang yang sangat spesial bagi diri kita yang mau belajar mencintai kita, syukurilah. Janganlah menganggap semua pemberian dari seseorang itu hanyalah sesuatu yang seharusnya kita dapatkan. Seandainya kita bisa menemukan seseorang yang bisa kita cintai tanpa menjadi egois, itu betul-betul sebuah anugerah.

If you have someone very special who loves us, treasure him. Don't take that for granted. If we can find someone we can love, it's really a blessing for us.

And finally, he ended his post by writing in English (again, quoted The Bible)

"Love the Lord your GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love your neighbour as you love yourself"

I am so fascinated, can't agree more. Although it's somehow very idealistic and of course, it's easier said than done, but it's really a good reading and hopefully, each day, we are going closer towards that ideal state of Love.

For my roomie, Zai Jian...

This post is dedicated only for my roomie...

I was allocated to stay with him started from 3 months ago. I didn't know him before. However, two people with outgoing personality can always stay together no matter what :D

He is taking business major, and I am from Mechanical Engineering.
He is year 1 student, and I am year 3.
He is Singaporean, and I am Indonesian.
He is active in hall activities, while my organizational activities are mostly in NTU Students' Union.
He likes playing rugby (if I am not mistaken), and for me, I only play badminton.
He adores Manchester United while Juventus is my only love since 1995 (which is, by the way, still the best football club in the world =) )

Seems that we are from different planet.. (maybe the only similarity between us is that we are both male..... and both of us are cute =P)

I like to read book before I slept, and sometimes I fall asleep while reading book. That's why, having a roommate who sleep later than me is really nice. He will switch-off the light so I don't need to stand to switch-off... And everytime he saw me fall asleep, he will off the light and only use study lamp. OK, that's simple thing, but simple things do make a big difference.

He is indeed a very friendly person. He taught me about different perspective. About how to manage time, and how to treat a girlfriend (I think his girlfriend is the luckiest girlfriend in the world.).

OK, it's only 3 months. However, rest assured, that period is really an important period in my life.

Thank you for being a nice roomie. Although after 7 May, you will be leaving our room, I really wish we can meet again in the future, just like the phrase "zai jian" which literally means "see you again."

Wei Loong, wish you all the best things in life and thank you again for everything...

Your roomie,

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A friendlier world...

Last night, I had a dream. To be honest, I am very bad in remembering dreams. The first thing I think in the morning is, "Do I lose weight today?" And after that, I straight away go to my weighing scale without thinking.

However, last night's dream is so shocking that I can't help but remembering it. I stood in front of a group of soldiers who planned to attack a small city. The reason is, that small city refused to pay tax. It's not that they are not loyal to the country, but because people there are extremely poor. I don't remember what my role was and the reason I was there (I told you, I am bad in remembering dreams).

However, just a few seconds before they started to bomb that small city, a group of innocent kids (I guess they are about 7 or 8 in age) passed by. I straight away shout to the soldiers "You are really heartless. Please think about the future of those kids!"

The soldiers were very angry and they planned to shoot me using their gun. However, using some negotiation techniques I learnt from school (Thanks God I took CPE810 subject before haha...), I managed to convince them that bombing a small city won't do any good. It's better for us to think about how we can help those people in their welfare so that they can pay tax in the future happily (I know, my dream always has a lame ending, but I can't choose, can I? =P)

It's only a dream. However, if that really happens to me, I will do exactly the same thing. I will stand up what I think is right and I will speak up my thoughts. This world is full of smart people with a heart made of gold, but not everyone dare to speak up their minds. That's why, it's very difficult to change the world. But here I am, a 21-year-old young man, will revolutionize the world one day... into a friendlier one.

Dear World, please wait for me. Meanwhile, please take care.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Another great story about life and its challenges

I got this story from my friend's blog. Enjoy... :)

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Winning is so sweet

If there's one universal thing everybody loves, that must be winning.

I won total of 6 badminton matches today. I won card game twice (which are subsequently, my second and third winning of card game in my entire life. I am not into card game, but I enjoyed today's games. It must be because I WON it. I WON IT, I must repeat it several times.)

For me, life is about winning. If you can't win, you lose, it's that simple.

However, you have the right to choose your games. It's sometimes not very easy to choose what games you are going to contest at. But for me, the rule of thumb is, I will only play in games that I am going to win. So I have to make sure that I win in everything I decided to come into. That's selfish, I know. But everybody is selfish anyway...

However, although I like to win everything, sometimes, I need to lose. It sounds like I contradict myself, but it's not. In economics theory, there is so-called marginal benefit and marginal cost. You do something if marginal benefit outweighs the cost, and if marginal cost outweighs the benefit, oh man, you better do something better.

In life, I learn that you simply CAN'T please everybody. Some people are just so negative.

In life, I learn that you can be sad, that's very human. But being sad for so long is just stupid.

I learn also that playing arguments with idiots is pointless. You can win, but so what? If you want to satisfy ur ego, you better pick more competitive debaters.

I learn the hard way that you simply can't make someone loves you. They might admire you or get impressed, but they will never love you if the feeling is just not there. I am a great believer of love at the first sight. If the feeling is not there for the first time, it is most probably not going to be there.

I learn that the best way to win friends is by being sincere at all times. Sincerity is, I guess, one of the sweetest characters of human.

I learn that liars will get some small victories at the beginning, but only honest people will win really big.

I learn that loyal person is really one in a million. You better treasure them.

I learn that you need to surround yourself with good people if you want to stay good. That explains why Roger Federer and Tiger Woods are good friends.

I learn that happiness or sadness is a state of mind. You can choose to be happy or sad.

Knowing those principles helps me to pick my battles, and helps me to win them. Losing sucks, everybody knows that (If you don't know that, please watch The Apprentice.)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Some questionnaire

Layer One: On The Outside
Name: Ben
Birth Date: 6 April 1986
Current status: single by choice (those 3 words are equally important.)
Eye Colour: Dark brown
Hair Colour: Black
Righty or Lefty: Righty

Layer Two: On The Inside
Your Heritage: Chinese
Your Fears: loneliness
Your Weakness: over-confidence
Your Perfect Pizza: low-fat one

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your Thoughts First thing when I wake up: what time is it?
Your Bedtime: between 1 to 2.30
Your Most Missed Memory: i think i miss every single second of my life haha..

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: plain water. That's the healthiest.
McDonald’s or Burger King: BK. But Subway definitely outshine those two.
Single or Group Dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Tea or Nestea: tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino

Layer Five: Do You..
Smoke: nope.
Curse: haha sometimes, but try not to
Take a shower: this morning =P
Have a crush: yes. Her name is Miss Heat Transfer
Think you’ve been in love: yes
Go to school: yes
Want to get married: most probably yes
Believe in yourself: yes. a great deal.
Think you’re a health freak: oh, i outshine most girls for this.

Layer Six: In The Past Month
Drank alcohol: yes.
Gone to the mall: yes definitely
Been on stage: nope
Eaten sushi: yes
Dyed your hair: no

Layer Seven: Have You Ever..
Played A Stripping Game: *blushing* no lah
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: sometimes

Layer Eight: Age
You’re Hoping To Be Married: late 20s to early 30s

Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy
Best Eye Colour: black
Best Hair Colour: no preference
Short Hair or Long Hair: prefer short hair

Layer Ten: What Were You Doing
1 Min Ago: decided to fill in this questionnaire
1 Hour Ago: eating
4.5 Hours Ago: studying (exam time T_T)
1 Month Ago: can't remember
1 Year Ago: oh please. My memory is not that good.

Layer Eleven: Finish The Sentence
I Love: eating (oops..)
I Feel: great
I Hate: liars
I Hide: my secrets
I Need: 48 hours a day.

Layer Twelve: Tag five people..

myself =P

Virginia Tech Tragedy

My deepest condolence for 32 students of Virginia Tech who were shot last Tuesday by their fellow student Cho Seung-hui (sadly to be said, an Asian).

I really wish that bilateral relation between US and South Korea (and Asian countries in general) will not be affected much by this tragedy.

No matter what his motive is, may all the souls rest in peace.

Idiot mistake!!! Argghhh..

I've finished two out of 5 exams today.. If I rate yesterday's exam as "bad", only 1 word can describe today's.. disastrous.
For some questions, I have no idea what the hell that question is about.
For some questions, I used common sense that has nothing to do with the subject.
And for one question, which is very similar with past year's paper, I even made a serious mistake there. I am so frustrated that I cant even remember that particular question which I did less than 72 hours ago. I cant believe it.

This is one of the most terrible mistake I've ever make in exam for 21 years of my life. Please dont console me saying that it's okay to make mistake. I know, it is NOT okay, and I feel really bad.

I still have 3 more papers to go. I need to study really hard to make up for the two papers I've failed.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Exam is (officially) started.

When you notice me look a bit (or very) lost, you can be sure, it's exam time.

While exam is coming in less than 96 hours from now, I feel that I've just started this semester. Some of my lecture notes were just printed freshly from the printer yesterday. Some of them will never be printed, because as a natural conserver, I want to save a bit of trees (and some coins in my wallet, which is also important)

In spite of everything, here I am. I will do my best for my exam. Everything else is secondary, included my weight. Yes, I've allocated some additional kilograms for my exam, so please don't tell me that I gain weight during exam, I know it better than you that yes, I am getting fat. But who cares. Who cares that you are 105 kgs when you can get your straight A..

Everyone, wish me luck.. I need tons of it..

Sunday, April 15, 2007

A nice story about love and marriage...

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?"

His teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love."

Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands, having picked nothing.

His teacher asked, "Why did you not pick any stalk?"

Plato answered, "Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find the most magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so I did not pick any in the end.

His teacher then said, "And that is love."

On another day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is marriage? How can I find it?"

His teacher answered, "There is a thriving forest in front. Walk forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find the tallest tree, then you have found love."

Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with a tree. The tree was not thriving, and it was not tall either. It was only an ordinary tree.

His teacher asked, "Why did you chop down such an ordinary tree?"

Plato answered, "Because of my previous experience. I walked halfway through the forest, but returned with empty hands. This time, I saw this tree, and I felt that it was not bad, so I chopped it down and brought it back. I did not want to miss the opportunity."

His teacher then said, "And that is marriage."

Friday, April 06, 2007


Yes, I am twenty-one today. Time flies so fast.

Just come back from receiving a birthday gift from my friend (I was doing my project at the reading room). And 30 min ago, just come back from friend's room to eat a surprise cake. I also had a nice lunch at NUS this afternoon. What a perfect day..

I am always touched every year in my birthday.. just like this year.

With so many friends saying "Happy Birthday" to me, I feel like I am the luckiest guy in the world. What can be better than surrounded by people you love?

Thank you very much for everyone who wished me a good year ahead. I won't let you down, friends.

OK, i make this post short. I will be continuing doing project (the deadline is 10 hours from now. I think I won't be sleeping at all tonight.)

Folks.... I AM TWENTY-ONE!!!!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Profile Views --> 507!! :D

I've just realized, my humble blog's profile has been viewed 507 times (4 April 7.17 pm Singapore time), excluded people who just drop by and read my blog without being bothered who am I. I am not trying to show off, but I think it's something I should be proud of. However, I don't know whether the same person viewed my profile so often =P

So far, this blog has been doing fantastic job for me. This blog marks my life journey from a bad-tempered 19 year old teenager to a more mature young adult now. This blog is one of the witnesses that a young man called Ben is not as strong and cool as he looks. Sometimes, he can be angry, upset, frustrated, and weak.

I found my old friends thru this blog, I found new friends also (some of them are my close friends now), I even almost found a soulmate here (oops.. ).

However, because sometimes I wrote about controversial issues, some people disagreed with me, they expressed their critiques and anger to me. I didn't mean to insult anyone. My sincere apologies if you feel insulted.
Despite all controversy, your comments really help. I learn to see a problem from different point of view. Thanks so much.

Thanks also for your concern, your support, your understanding, and everything. It is indeed very relieving to know that I am not alone. There're some other people out there experienced exactly the same thing as me. That's wonderful. Please continue supporting me, continue giving me some comments, continue sending me tons of personal E-mails.
All your comments, suggestions, ideas, and thinking mean a lot to me. A LOT.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all very much..

Love, hug, kiss..


Trust and Honesty

It's 4 April, 2 days before my 21st birthday. Actually I don't want to blog about controversial thing again and just having my birthday in peace. However, my heart told me that I should write this.

For the first quarter of my life (assuming I will still be alive until 84), I have met hundreds of friends. My outgoing personality enables me to make friends with anyone, even the stranger I met for the first time. Maybe tens of them are considered very close to me. I chat with them often. Out of them, I guess, only about 10 or slightly more are my best friends. They are special friends, friends whom I trust. I tell them something that I will never tell my ordinary friends. Some of them have been my best friends for years, some of them, months or even weeks.

What criterias people use when they make friends? After doing some research, I found out that actually "chemistry" is a very important factor. However, if you dig it deeper, you'll find out sooner or later, that "chemistry" is actually composed of many components, and some of the most important aspects of those are, trustworthiness, honesty, integrity, and other likeability factors such as friendliness.

For me, honesty and integrity are very important. Liars won't get a place in my heart. Bullshiters better stay away from me. Opportunist, go to hell. Betrayers, sweet-mouthers etc.. the list goes on. I only surround myself with people I can trust. You only have limited time to interact with people, so you better make sure you interact with good people.

For two people (one guy and one girl) whom I considered as close friends (not best friends, yet), I am sorry to tell you, you lose my trust, most probably, forever.

No friend, so far, lied to me that badly. The first one (a guy) lied to me that he never received any out of my 15 calls and any out of 15 other calls my friend made. If that's true, you better change your phone operator. If you make mistake, you better admit it and say sorry about it. You never feel sorry. You think making someone waiting for a call overnight is a small mistake. It's a terrible mistake. Making mistake is bad, but not admitting it is the worst thing you can do. I can always call your phone operator to prove, who's right, who's wrong, but I find it useless. We all know who's right.

The second one is a girl. No friend betrays someone that badly. Last time, you told my best friend that you will support her wholeheartedly to love one particular guy. But at the end, you fall in love with that guy, secretly, without telling her, without telling me. You betrayed her so badly. And you never feel sorry about it. I don't care whether my best friend loves him or not, and that's not important. My point here is, you betrayed her. You betrayed her so badly. Being pretty doesn't mean you can treat your fellow human like that. You not only fail very badly as a friend, you fail terribly as a human.

I think that's all. Like a statue, when you break it into pieces, you can always do something to repair it. However, it won't look the same anymore. It won't look the same. Never.

It takes years to build trust, and only overnight to destroy it.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Birthday Wishlist. Anyone? =P

I will be celebrating my 21st birthday this coming 6 April (it happens to be Good Friday).. in the most romantic and memorable place in the world, my beloved study desk. Yes, I will be catching up some subjects for my exam, and I will be celebrating my birthday after my exam.

OK, this is my birthday wishlist. It may or may not ranked according to my preference :)

1. A straight A for my exam result plus one A+ for any subject.

2. Five As for this semester.

3. A more emotionally-savvy me.

4. Four A and one A- for my design subject

5. A world free of war.

6. Happy and healthy Mom, Dad, and brothers.

7. A cute japanese or korean girl who can speak good english.

8. Have I mentioned something about my exam result?

9. One bottle of caffeine pills.

10. Any new bestseller book. No fiction please.

11. A weighing scale with body fat percentage.

12. An internship on May to July period.

13. Someone who can teach me Mandarin twice a week one hour each.

14. Prosperous Indonesia and an even more prosperous Singapore.

15. Business Week and/or Time magazine subscription.

16. Donald Trump's autograph, with "Benny, you are gonna strike it big!" writing.

17. Paris Hilton poster.

18. A piano book.

19. A unique MP3 player with classical music inside.

20. A very valuable and rare creature in this world called bestfriend.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Humiliated... by a girl.

I ve always been proud of myself for being able to run so far and so fast. As a competitive badminton player who used to represent my hall at InterHall Competition, and represent Indonesian society at International Games (an event which I also served as co-chairman), I, unquestionably, have a good stamina. When I was young (which is not so long ago), I used to play badminton for 6-hour continuosly.

However, I realized that nothing is permanent in this world. Actually, before the jogging session, I declared "There's no way a girl can beat a guy." But after the jogging session, I've to take back my words, in a humiliating way. I lost to one of the pretty girl from Kazakhstan (Mr Google, is it the correct way to spell it?). I think they used to run from Kazakhstan to Russia and go back again. No wonder, Russia produces some of the world's most admired female athletes, such as Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova (please don't google to find those names when your girlfriend is around). Btw, why do I talk about Russia and not Kazakhstan? =P

Losing sucks. Losing to a girl is pathetic -_-"

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.

A very famous speech by Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple and Pixar.

Needless to say, he is just extremely outstanding, really one in a million, oops.. i think one in a billion.

He gave a very strong message, do what you love to do. Be passionate about what you do. Follow your heart.

Quoting him, when you wake up in the morning with a paradigm that today's the last day of your life, will you do what you need to do? Will you go to MRT at 7 am, do repetitive jobs which you can do with your left hand and one eye closed, and come back at 6 pm, and having a bowl of stupid instant noodle or one package of McDonald? Everyday?

If your "heart" (I prefer use "intuition" here) somehow indicate that there's something wrong, there's a high chance you are right.

Life is too precious to be wasted to fulfill others' dreams. Your parents' dreams, your spouse's dreams, or your bank account's dreams. You need to fulfill your own dream, you need to answer the calling of your life, you need to have a fulfilling and rewarding life.

You're free to choose, but your choice will determine where will you be in 10, 20, or 40 years time. Will you be in your stupid office starring at the clock every 10 minutes? Or will you be in your private jet? Or will you be in Africa feeding poor people? There's no right or wrong answer. One person's "challenging life" might cause a heart-attack for the others. And one's "peaceful life" is boring for the challenge-lovers. One's luxurious lifestyle might be called materialistic by others. And one's simple life might tempt your neighbors to call you "lazy and useless creature."

However, the ultimate question is, if God ask you at the last day of your life, "hey son, how's life?", will you answer, "That's great. I enjoy every second of it."? Or, will answer "I don't remember that I have life. Yes, I do work, sleep, and talk. When can I start to have life?"

You decide.