Jokes of Teacher and Student
Teacher: “Where were u born?”
Student: “Singapore, Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me, Sir.”
*****
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?”
Only one hand shot up.
“Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.
“‘unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘ill-egal’ is a sick eagle… Sir.”
*****
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
*****
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
*****
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
*****
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*****
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
*****
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
*****
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*****
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie… Always say, “I am.”
MILLIE: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
*****
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
*****
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
*****
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
*****
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
*****
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Teacher: “Where were u born?”
Student: “Singapore, Sir.”
Teacher: “Which part?”
Student: “All of me, Sir.”
*****
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?”
Only one hand shot up.
“Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.
“‘unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘ill-egal’ is a sick eagle… Sir.”
*****
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria!
*****
TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
*****
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
*****
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*****
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
*****
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
*****
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*****
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie… Always say, “I am.”
MILLIE: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
*****
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
*****
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
*****
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
*****
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
*****
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
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