Disclaimer: Opinions I mention below are just my personal opinions. I do not represent any religious group whatsoever.
I was not born in a catholic family although my 2 brothers are both catholic. We went to catholic school and as the result of it, we became catholic. Until now, both my parents are still not catholic, and although my mother has not been baptised yet, she prays very often everyday, maybe more than what I do in a few days.
Despite that seemingly very normal process of becoming a catholic, I believe in God and I believe that nothing is coincidental in this world. I believe that God has planned that I went to catholic school and as a result, becoming a catholic.
My spiritual life has experienced ups and downs (although the "ups" are not very fantastic I must say). I behave like what a catholic usually do (not what he should do). We attend church to avoid feeling guilty, we seldom or never read the bible, and we don't do much religious activities besides going to church. In short, I think I wouldn't be the first person anyone would think of someone very religious, although I don't think I would be the last also.
Although I have never been too close to God, I know I love Him, He loves me, and I can speak to Him whenever I need to. Borrowing a banking term, maybe I am God's privilege customer (so are you my friend, He never does mass-market banking and His call hotline doesn't require you to wait for 1 hour, talking to that stupid machine operator.)
Some of the happiest and most successful people I know are very religious. Some of them are very active in church, some of them in mosque, and some of them are Buddhists at its best. I believe there is a place in our heart that can be filled by God only, and not by money, car, or sex. I used to read bible everyday and I reckon those days are the happiest days in my life although ironically, during that time, I experienced some of my darkest days with lots of problems and whenever I saw from level 6 at my dormitory, I wanted to commit suicide.
One day, that suicide thought appeared again in my mind, and as usual, I refused to cry. Boys don't cry. However, I felt that God touched my heart so strongly that I cried and couldn't stop it. I felt God talked to me..
"Ben, I know it has been hard for you, but those problems appear not without any reason whatsoever. I want to prepare you to be stronger than ever before. I want to see you touch souls and lives, and be my witness. You can cry, in fact you should cry if you think that will make you better. But don't give up Ben. I am with you. ALWAYS."
I know I may not be the best person to talk about God, but if you have experienced something like that, it's difficult not to talk about it. I know in daily conversation, we are not supposed to talk much about religion. People nowadays don't want to be too involved in religion, maybe because they think that religion is old-fashioned and people don't want to be called hypocrite because they don't do what they preach. However, I personally believe that we don't need to be a Saint to talk about God, and I make my stand clear, I CHOSE TO be baptised in catholic church 10 years ago and for me, that means promise. Promise to serve God, promise to be different, and promise to answer my calling.
I know some people don't like when I blog about something religious, but ladies and gentlemen, this is the nuts and bolts of my life with all the good things and imperfections. I am not interested in pleasing everyone and be popular. It's always the true intention of this blog - to write about myself in the most honest way: no make-up, no photoshop, no mask. This is my life and in case you don't know: in my life, I am in-charge.
I was not born in a catholic family although my 2 brothers are both catholic. We went to catholic school and as the result of it, we became catholic. Until now, both my parents are still not catholic, and although my mother has not been baptised yet, she prays very often everyday, maybe more than what I do in a few days.
Despite that seemingly very normal process of becoming a catholic, I believe in God and I believe that nothing is coincidental in this world. I believe that God has planned that I went to catholic school and as a result, becoming a catholic.
My spiritual life has experienced ups and downs (although the "ups" are not very fantastic I must say). I behave like what a catholic usually do (not what he should do). We attend church to avoid feeling guilty, we seldom or never read the bible, and we don't do much religious activities besides going to church. In short, I think I wouldn't be the first person anyone would think of someone very religious, although I don't think I would be the last also.
Although I have never been too close to God, I know I love Him, He loves me, and I can speak to Him whenever I need to. Borrowing a banking term, maybe I am God's privilege customer (so are you my friend, He never does mass-market banking and His call hotline doesn't require you to wait for 1 hour, talking to that stupid machine operator.)
Some of the happiest and most successful people I know are very religious. Some of them are very active in church, some of them in mosque, and some of them are Buddhists at its best. I believe there is a place in our heart that can be filled by God only, and not by money, car, or sex. I used to read bible everyday and I reckon those days are the happiest days in my life although ironically, during that time, I experienced some of my darkest days with lots of problems and whenever I saw from level 6 at my dormitory, I wanted to commit suicide.
One day, that suicide thought appeared again in my mind, and as usual, I refused to cry. Boys don't cry. However, I felt that God touched my heart so strongly that I cried and couldn't stop it. I felt God talked to me..
"Ben, I know it has been hard for you, but those problems appear not without any reason whatsoever. I want to prepare you to be stronger than ever before. I want to see you touch souls and lives, and be my witness. You can cry, in fact you should cry if you think that will make you better. But don't give up Ben. I am with you. ALWAYS."
I know I may not be the best person to talk about God, but if you have experienced something like that, it's difficult not to talk about it. I know in daily conversation, we are not supposed to talk much about religion. People nowadays don't want to be too involved in religion, maybe because they think that religion is old-fashioned and people don't want to be called hypocrite because they don't do what they preach. However, I personally believe that we don't need to be a Saint to talk about God, and I make my stand clear, I CHOSE TO be baptised in catholic church 10 years ago and for me, that means promise. Promise to serve God, promise to be different, and promise to answer my calling.
I know some people don't like when I blog about something religious, but ladies and gentlemen, this is the nuts and bolts of my life with all the good things and imperfections. I am not interested in pleasing everyone and be popular. It's always the true intention of this blog - to write about myself in the most honest way: no make-up, no photoshop, no mask. This is my life and in case you don't know: in my life, I am in-charge.
4 comments:
Hi Ben,
Thanks for the post. Your testimony is beautiful.
When I start blogging, I also try not to talk about religious stuff since it sounds controversial. However throughout the years, the desire to talk about this matter intensifies.
I am agree with you that as a human, a honest man, we can't deny that the true happiness can only be found in God alone.
@WK
Thanks... :)
Yups. I don't deny that material things can give satisfaction, but nothing can ever replace God's grace.
you know what can replace God's grace? MORE material things! :D
*joking*
@Reza
Of course the more material things we have, the happier we are. Only hypocrites will deny that statement.
However, I think just like practically everything else, there is always some saturated points somewhere, and people will soon realize that more material things won't help anymore.
That's from what I read from books haha... but personally, i have never experienced a condition called "too rich", so I shall let you know when I reach that point which is hopefully in the near future :)
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