Just another frank and random stuffs

Caution: This is a very long post.

I don’t know how we started the conversation, but suddenly everyone started to talk about blogging stuffs. My friend’s blog is well-known to be romantic, and some others’, funny. Then come to my blog, no one could really describe in short what my blog’s overall impression is, until someone mentioned “controversial!” And I thought for a few seconds, maybe he was right.

I am not particularly proud or ashamed if people associate my blog with controversy. I do admit that I write a few controversial issues before, especially related to my past relationships. I admit I was cruel at that time, but I never regret those statements. I think everyone needs to be nice 70% of the time and be firm 30% of the time, but we need to be honest 100% of the time, not one percent less. That’s my principle.

ANYWAY...

Today, I studied at the school’s canteen until very late. I was sitting in the middle of two officially attached guys. And there I was, a self-confessed single-by-choice. I am not a super genius like Einstein, so with the current modules I take this semester, I am pretty occupied.

Oh, come back from those two attached boys and a single me, I was asking myself, am I ready for a relationship, again, after a few months. A tough question, maybe just a bit easier than my Aircraft Propulsion exam last Thursday (You now can imagine how tough my exam was).

I am definitely not traumatic with relationship, I look forward to it. However, I just don’t want to fall in love with someone I don’t love (Many people think that love will grow along the way. That is not entirely wrong, but I think you need some good seeds to grow a tree, better still, a small tree to start with.)

I am not afraid of getting additional burden for my relationship. I am always busy anyway. I think the most satisfied human beings are the busy ones, but still can enjoy their lives.

However, to be honest, I haven’t found the girl of my dream, until this very second. That’s why I am single until now. Contrary to the popular belief that the only criteria of an ideal partner is the “chemistry”, I don’t believe that! I know what I want. I think most people know what they want, they just don’t want to appear greedy or demanding or selfish or their combinations.

1. The girl has to be mature intellectually.

The problem is, the girls at my age (I am 21), mostly are still very immature. They think only about the present condition. That’s why I almost always fall in love with older women (do I ever tell you that I ever fall in love with my teacher?). Older women are sexier, because they think far ahead, they are wiser, and more open-minded.

2. The girl has to have a will to fight for what she wants.

I fight for whatever I want. I used to be 85 kg. I fight every kg of fat in my body! I didn’t eat rice for almost 2 months, not a single grain. I avoided oily food, ice cream, chocolate, and other unhealthy food. I even slapped my own face whenever I wanted those nice foods. I told myself “you fucking greedy 85 kg man!” I started to hypnotize myself to avoid those nice foods. I know deep inside my heart that those foods are nice, but I WANTED SO BADLY to lose 15 kg, and if I had to achieve that by eating shit everyday if shit is the healthiest food on earth, I WILL DO THAT. You have only one life, and if you don’t fight for what you want, you will end up shitty.

3. The girl has to be able to reflect on the past, enjoy the present, and plan the future.

All has not-so-nice experiences throughout our life, be it falling in love with a bitch, losing money, or backstabbed. You have two choices, crying or moving on. I always learn from my past mistakes, and I am proud to say that I am a better person every single day. Enjoying a present is also very important. Don’t wait for the conditions to change, you can be happy no matter what. Don’t wait until you can enjoy $150 meal everytime, start to appreciate $2 meal at nearest chicken rice stall. Related to point number 1 and 2, most girls at my age can’t really tell what their life would be in 10, 20 years time. It’s really a turn-off for me to hear the phrase “I don’t know. See how lah.” I HATE THAT! People must have a sense of planning, if the circumferences don’t support our plan, change the plan or change the circumferences. However, do have a plan, a good one.

4. The girl must be attractive physically and mentally.

Come on guys, we are men, and we love beautiful girls, at least the ones who are presentable. I find it very irritating when people say “I don’t need to take care of my body, I am who I am.” I think that’s really sad. If a genie can transform you to be as attractive as Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, will you refuse that offer, hypocrites?
I think if someone can’t even take care of their physical and mental being, they can’t take care of other people.

Now, maybe you are asking me, “Am I looking for a girlfriend or a business partner? If you love someone, will you accept a person just as she is?”

My answer is simple. I always think long term. A girlfriend is my future wife, and the future mother of my children, a role model for them. If you want to hire a maid for your child, of course you won’t hire someone who has bad attitude, because her attitude can influence your children. I am just giving an analogy, no intention to look down on girls, they are wonderful creatures. However, my point is, marriage is once in a lifetime, and there is no reason why we shouldn’t fight for that.