M: "Are you an Interior Decorator?"
W: "No. Why?"
M: "When I saw you enter, the room became beautiful"
M: "Are you religious?"
W: "Yes "
M: "Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers."
M: "Baby, did you fart, Cause you blow me away..."
M: "How is your fever?"
W: "What Fever?"
M: "Oh.. you just look so hot to me..."
(This is a good one !)
M: "Can I get a picture of you to prove to my friends that angels do really exist."
M: "Wow! How did you do that???!!!"
W: "Do what?"
M: "Look so good..."
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Top Students’ Tips to get an A+ in your LOVE101 Core Subject
1. Do your homework, do your research.
Homework is quite often optional (especially for University students). However, top students do it anyway. In a relationship, the best lover is very often the one who does his homework and research e.g. find out what kind of gifts their partners really want, by asking their friends, or maybe parents (the last can be a really accurate source.)
2. Not all Chapters are created equal
We have chapters marked with “five starts” and optional chapters. Top students know how to prioritize (remember 80/20 principle?). Your girlfriend may only kick you when you forget her weight, but will KILL you when you forget her birthday. Knowing what’s important and what’s less important. Of course, if you have time, do the remaining 80%, you will be a perfect lover. However, we are busy, aren’t we?
3. Lecturer’s words ARE law
The only words matter are HER say. Pay attention to it. They might appear in the exam!
Hint: It is also useful when we are quarrelling, but please don’t quote me for this =P
4. Gimme a break. Literally
Know when to work tirelessly and when to take a break in relationship is important. We are human afterall, no matter how loyal we are.
5. Unspoken knowledge is invalid.
When lecturers mark our exam papers, they will look at what IS written, not what is in our mind. Say it say it say it! When you think she is bloody gorgeous today, say it out loud. Of course when you feel she looks FAT (not fabulous and terrific, btw), don’t say it. In your exam paper, you also won’t write that your professor is a bastard right? Even if you wholeheartedly think so.
I learned those lessons the hard way. I failed my LOVE101 (Introduction of Love), got F for that subject. I will retake that subject again but don’t know when. Anyone wants to be my lecturer? I promise to study hard this time :D
If she becomes LOVE101 lecturer, I think the class will be full everytime =P
Homework is quite often optional (especially for University students). However, top students do it anyway. In a relationship, the best lover is very often the one who does his homework and research e.g. find out what kind of gifts their partners really want, by asking their friends, or maybe parents (the last can be a really accurate source.)
2. Not all Chapters are created equal
We have chapters marked with “five starts” and optional chapters. Top students know how to prioritize (remember 80/20 principle?). Your girlfriend may only kick you when you forget her weight, but will KILL you when you forget her birthday. Knowing what’s important and what’s less important. Of course, if you have time, do the remaining 80%, you will be a perfect lover. However, we are busy, aren’t we?
3. Lecturer’s words ARE law
The only words matter are HER say. Pay attention to it. They might appear in the exam!
Hint: It is also useful when we are quarrelling, but please don’t quote me for this =P
4. Gimme a break. Literally
Know when to work tirelessly and when to take a break in relationship is important. We are human afterall, no matter how loyal we are.
5. Unspoken knowledge is invalid.
When lecturers mark our exam papers, they will look at what IS written, not what is in our mind. Say it say it say it! When you think she is bloody gorgeous today, say it out loud. Of course when you feel she looks FAT (not fabulous and terrific, btw), don’t say it. In your exam paper, you also won’t write that your professor is a bastard right? Even if you wholeheartedly think so.
I learned those lessons the hard way. I failed my LOVE101 (Introduction of Love), got F for that subject. I will retake that subject again but don’t know when. Anyone wants to be my lecturer? I promise to study hard this time :D
If she becomes LOVE101 lecturer, I think the class will be full everytime =P
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Just another frank and random stuffs
Caution: This is a very long post.
I don’t know how we started the conversation, but suddenly everyone started to talk about blogging stuffs. My friend’s blog is well-known to be romantic, and some others’, funny. Then come to my blog, no one could really describe in short what my blog’s overall impression is, until someone mentioned “controversial!” And I thought for a few seconds, maybe he was right.
I am not particularly proud or ashamed if people associate my blog with controversy. I do admit that I write a few controversial issues before, especially related to my past relationships. I admit I was cruel at that time, but I never regret those statements. I think everyone needs to be nice 70% of the time and be firm 30% of the time, but we need to be honest 100% of the time, not one percent less. That’s my principle.
ANYWAY...
Today, I studied at the school’s canteen until very late. I was sitting in the middle of two officially attached guys. And there I was, a self-confessed single-by-choice. I am not a super genius like Einstein, so with the current modules I take this semester, I am pretty occupied.
Oh, come back from those two attached boys and a single me, I was asking myself, am I ready for a relationship, again, after a few months. A tough question, maybe just a bit easier than my Aircraft Propulsion exam last Thursday (You now can imagine how tough my exam was).
I am definitely not traumatic with relationship, I look forward to it. However, I just don’t want to fall in love with someone I don’t love (Many people think that love will grow along the way. That is not entirely wrong, but I think you need some good seeds to grow a tree, better still, a small tree to start with.)
I am not afraid of getting additional burden for my relationship. I am always busy anyway. I think the most satisfied human beings are the busy ones, but still can enjoy their lives.
However, to be honest, I haven’t found the girl of my dream, until this very second. That’s why I am single until now. Contrary to the popular belief that the only criteria of an ideal partner is the “chemistry”, I don’t believe that! I know what I want. I think most people know what they want, they just don’t want to appear greedy or demanding or selfish or their combinations.
1. The girl has to be mature intellectually.
The problem is, the girls at my age (I am 21), mostly are still very immature. They think only about the present condition. That’s why I almost always fall in love with older women (do I ever tell you that I ever fall in love with my teacher?). Older women are sexier, because they think far ahead, they are wiser, and more open-minded.
2. The girl has to have a will to fight for what she wants.
I fight for whatever I want. I used to be 85 kg. I fight every kg of fat in my body! I didn’t eat rice for almost 2 months, not a single grain. I avoided oily food, ice cream, chocolate, and other unhealthy food. I even slapped my own face whenever I wanted those nice foods. I told myself “you fucking greedy 85 kg man!” I started to hypnotize myself to avoid those nice foods. I know deep inside my heart that those foods are nice, but I WANTED SO BADLY to lose 15 kg, and if I had to achieve that by eating shit everyday if shit is the healthiest food on earth, I WILL DO THAT. You have only one life, and if you don’t fight for what you want, you will end up shitty.
3. The girl has to be able to reflect on the past, enjoy the present, and plan the future.
All has not-so-nice experiences throughout our life, be it falling in love with a bitch, losing money, or backstabbed. You have two choices, crying or moving on. I always learn from my past mistakes, and I am proud to say that I am a better person every single day. Enjoying a present is also very important. Don’t wait for the conditions to change, you can be happy no matter what. Don’t wait until you can enjoy $150 meal everytime, start to appreciate $2 meal at nearest chicken rice stall. Related to point number 1 and 2, most girls at my age can’t really tell what their life would be in 10, 20 years time. It’s really a turn-off for me to hear the phrase “I don’t know. See how lah.” I HATE THAT! People must have a sense of planning, if the circumferences don’t support our plan, change the plan or change the circumferences. However, do have a plan, a good one.
4. The girl must be attractive physically and mentally.
Come on guys, we are men, and we love beautiful girls, at least the ones who are presentable. I find it very irritating when people say “I don’t need to take care of my body, I am who I am.” I think that’s really sad. If a genie can transform you to be as attractive as Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, will you refuse that offer, hypocrites?
I think if someone can’t even take care of their physical and mental being, they can’t take care of other people.
Now, maybe you are asking me, “Am I looking for a girlfriend or a business partner? If you love someone, will you accept a person just as she is?”
My answer is simple. I always think long term. A girlfriend is my future wife, and the future mother of my children, a role model for them. If you want to hire a maid for your child, of course you won’t hire someone who has bad attitude, because her attitude can influence your children. I am just giving an analogy, no intention to look down on girls, they are wonderful creatures. However, my point is, marriage is once in a lifetime, and there is no reason why we shouldn’t fight for that.
I don’t know how we started the conversation, but suddenly everyone started to talk about blogging stuffs. My friend’s blog is well-known to be romantic, and some others’, funny. Then come to my blog, no one could really describe in short what my blog’s overall impression is, until someone mentioned “controversial!” And I thought for a few seconds, maybe he was right.
I am not particularly proud or ashamed if people associate my blog with controversy. I do admit that I write a few controversial issues before, especially related to my past relationships. I admit I was cruel at that time, but I never regret those statements. I think everyone needs to be nice 70% of the time and be firm 30% of the time, but we need to be honest 100% of the time, not one percent less. That’s my principle.
ANYWAY...
Today, I studied at the school’s canteen until very late. I was sitting in the middle of two officially attached guys. And there I was, a self-confessed single-by-choice. I am not a super genius like Einstein, so with the current modules I take this semester, I am pretty occupied.
Oh, come back from those two attached boys and a single me, I was asking myself, am I ready for a relationship, again, after a few months. A tough question, maybe just a bit easier than my Aircraft Propulsion exam last Thursday (You now can imagine how tough my exam was).
I am definitely not traumatic with relationship, I look forward to it. However, I just don’t want to fall in love with someone I don’t love (Many people think that love will grow along the way. That is not entirely wrong, but I think you need some good seeds to grow a tree, better still, a small tree to start with.)
I am not afraid of getting additional burden for my relationship. I am always busy anyway. I think the most satisfied human beings are the busy ones, but still can enjoy their lives.
However, to be honest, I haven’t found the girl of my dream, until this very second. That’s why I am single until now. Contrary to the popular belief that the only criteria of an ideal partner is the “chemistry”, I don’t believe that! I know what I want. I think most people know what they want, they just don’t want to appear greedy or demanding or selfish or their combinations.
1. The girl has to be mature intellectually.
The problem is, the girls at my age (I am 21), mostly are still very immature. They think only about the present condition. That’s why I almost always fall in love with older women (do I ever tell you that I ever fall in love with my teacher?). Older women are sexier, because they think far ahead, they are wiser, and more open-minded.
2. The girl has to have a will to fight for what she wants.
I fight for whatever I want. I used to be 85 kg. I fight every kg of fat in my body! I didn’t eat rice for almost 2 months, not a single grain. I avoided oily food, ice cream, chocolate, and other unhealthy food. I even slapped my own face whenever I wanted those nice foods. I told myself “you fucking greedy 85 kg man!” I started to hypnotize myself to avoid those nice foods. I know deep inside my heart that those foods are nice, but I WANTED SO BADLY to lose 15 kg, and if I had to achieve that by eating shit everyday if shit is the healthiest food on earth, I WILL DO THAT. You have only one life, and if you don’t fight for what you want, you will end up shitty.
3. The girl has to be able to reflect on the past, enjoy the present, and plan the future.
All has not-so-nice experiences throughout our life, be it falling in love with a bitch, losing money, or backstabbed. You have two choices, crying or moving on. I always learn from my past mistakes, and I am proud to say that I am a better person every single day. Enjoying a present is also very important. Don’t wait for the conditions to change, you can be happy no matter what. Don’t wait until you can enjoy $150 meal everytime, start to appreciate $2 meal at nearest chicken rice stall. Related to point number 1 and 2, most girls at my age can’t really tell what their life would be in 10, 20 years time. It’s really a turn-off for me to hear the phrase “I don’t know. See how lah.” I HATE THAT! People must have a sense of planning, if the circumferences don’t support our plan, change the plan or change the circumferences. However, do have a plan, a good one.
4. The girl must be attractive physically and mentally.
Come on guys, we are men, and we love beautiful girls, at least the ones who are presentable. I find it very irritating when people say “I don’t need to take care of my body, I am who I am.” I think that’s really sad. If a genie can transform you to be as attractive as Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, will you refuse that offer, hypocrites?
I think if someone can’t even take care of their physical and mental being, they can’t take care of other people.
Now, maybe you are asking me, “Am I looking for a girlfriend or a business partner? If you love someone, will you accept a person just as she is?”
My answer is simple. I always think long term. A girlfriend is my future wife, and the future mother of my children, a role model for them. If you want to hire a maid for your child, of course you won’t hire someone who has bad attitude, because her attitude can influence your children. I am just giving an analogy, no intention to look down on girls, they are wonderful creatures. However, my point is, marriage is once in a lifetime, and there is no reason why we shouldn’t fight for that.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
My View on NTU Mass Comm students' project - Why Destructive Comments KILL
I saw a very nice song by NTU Mass Communication students for their project. Creative, fun, fresh, funny. Good-looking models. The gal is not as pretty as Xiaxue (+make up + photoshop), but the guy is definitely better looking than Steven Lim. Anyway, that’s not the main point :P
However, something bothering me. The comments are so destructive.
Seriously, I think whoever wrote those comments need a lesson or two in courtesy. I think you are liabilities for your community, wherever you are. Comments like that are not only upsetting, they KILL creativity. Please put yourself in the students’ shoes, what will you feel if you have put days to make the video, and someone comments “lousy!”, “really bad.” GIMME A BREAK!! That song won’t win Grammy I know, but if you can’t give constructive comment, for goodness sake, SHUT UP!
If you think the video is lousy, please state WHY. Give constructive feedback, I am sure the students will welcome it. Or better still, make your own video and see whether you can make a better one. I won’t be surprised if your video is as shitty as your comment.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
When Things Go Tough
When things go tough
And I start to feel exhausted
I close my eyes
I take a deep breathe
Why I work so hard??
WHY???
Yes!!!
It’s for my future!
It’s for my beloved family, my friends,
and all the people that I love!
And most importantly...
It’s for God’s glory!
I open my eyes again,
I continue my work,
Because I know...
I will succeed,
And everybody is waiting for my success.
And I start to feel exhausted
I close my eyes
I take a deep breathe
Why I work so hard??
WHY???
Yes!!!
It’s for my future!
It’s for my beloved family, my friends,
and all the people that I love!
And most importantly...
It’s for God’s glory!
I open my eyes again,
I continue my work,
Because I know...
I will succeed,
And everybody is waiting for my success.
poem by : Ben
Singapore 11.11.07 - Idiot Lovers
The sound of piano
Munched Oreo
The sound of people walking
Oh they are laughing
But I am alone here
Writing in a piece of paper
Do you remember?
When we were singing together?
I think we sucks
But we think we are stars
Can you recall?
When we loved to storytell
I told you stupid jokes
And you replied nonsense
We are idiot
But I don’t give a shit
Because we are the world
And we don’t need to be afraid
Munched Oreo
The sound of people walking
Oh they are laughing
But I am alone here
Writing in a piece of paper
Do you remember?
When we were singing together?
I think we sucks
But we think we are stars
Can you recall?
When we loved to storytell
I told you stupid jokes
And you replied nonsense
We are idiot
But I don’t give a shit
Because we are the world
And we don’t need to be afraid
Note : If loving you is stupid
I hope my brain is permanently damaged
Written by : Ben, inspiration comes from someone out there
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Full-time Parents, probably The Best and The most Difficult job in the world.
I have just wake up at 11 this morning. I usually can’t recall my dreams unless they are so special, be it really sweet or exceptionally scary.
Wanna know my dream last night? I become a father! In my dream, I take care of my newborn baby, and it’s NOT EASY at all. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see who is the mother of my baby (means, my wife)!
FULL-TIME PARENT.
Mom & Dad, thank you so much for all your sacrifices. I will never let you down.
Love,
Ben
Probably, the luckiest son in the world to have you as my parents. 
Wanna know my dream last night? I become a father! In my dream, I take care of my newborn baby, and it’s NOT EASY at all. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see who is the mother of my baby (means, my wife)!
Anyway, I think parenting is the one of the noblest things to do in this world. Imagine, what kind of sacrifices a couple has to make for their baby? Money, of course. Time, definitely. Parents sacrifice a lot, A LOT.
If they don’t have children, maybe they would be able to pursue a second career, get to study higher degree, or save more money. They would be able to spend more time with their wives or husbands, or friends! They got to watch English Premier League or Desperate Housewives, or Oprah, after they come back from work!
Despite all the troubles, I think it’s worth it to have a baby. If you think working as lawyer or investment banker is hard, you definitely haven’t tried the most difficult job in the world, but also the most satisfying one.
FULL-TIME PARENT.
Mom & Dad, thank you so much for all your sacrifices. I will never let you down.
Love,
Ben
Probably, the luckiest son in the world to have you as my parents.
What's wrong with my native language??
Since I came to Singapore 3 ½ years ago, I started to use English much more often compared to my native language, Indonesian.
I converse in English at least 80% of the time. I started to think in English about 2 years ago. Now, I don’t need to “translate” sentences from my native language to English, something that beginners usually do. My bible is in English, I write all my appointment in English, and I write my blog in English as you know.
That’s why, I can say, the way I speak English is more natural than the way I speak in my native language. I can do impromptu speech in English, but if you ask me to give speech in Bahasa Indonesia “baku” (proper Indonesian), I can’t do that anymore, at least not for formal setting. I started to find difficulties finding Indonesian words. For example, last time I wanted to tell my Indonesian friend about the word “unemployment.” I forgot what “unemployment” in Indonesian... Until a few minutes later, I could recall that word. “Pengangguran”! Oh my Gosh.
Then if I wake up late or I am late for appointment, I will say “Oh my goodness” or “sh*t” or “d*mn”. Indonesians usually swear by using the expression “Mati!” (“Die” in English), or “sialan.” (I can’t find the vivid translation for this.) I will say the English expression even if I just wake up, which proves the point that I actually think in English and I can say that English is my first language, although it’s not my mother tongue.
Then today my roommate said “thank you” to me, I replied him by “Nggak masalah.” (no problem in English). Then I started to feel strange. Oh my goodness, what’s wrong with my Indonesian?
Correct me if I am wrong. I think Indonesians never reply a thank you by “No problem” right? They usually reply “sama-sama” (same-same in English, joking lah, it’s something like “you too”). My Indonesian friends, am I correct?
I think language is just another skill, the more you practise it, the better you are. When you don’t use it often, your skill will start to deteriorate. That is exactly what happens with my native language. I won public speaking and writing competitions in both Indonesian and English in the past, so my Indonesian couldn’t be that bad right? Maybe I should start to read Indonesian poem and high quality fiction again, something that I used to be very good at.
I converse in English at least 80% of the time. I started to think in English about 2 years ago. Now, I don’t need to “translate” sentences from my native language to English, something that beginners usually do. My bible is in English, I write all my appointment in English, and I write my blog in English as you know.
That’s why, I can say, the way I speak English is more natural than the way I speak in my native language. I can do impromptu speech in English, but if you ask me to give speech in Bahasa Indonesia “baku” (proper Indonesian), I can’t do that anymore, at least not for formal setting. I started to find difficulties finding Indonesian words. For example, last time I wanted to tell my Indonesian friend about the word “unemployment.” I forgot what “unemployment” in Indonesian... Until a few minutes later, I could recall that word. “Pengangguran”! Oh my Gosh.
Then if I wake up late or I am late for appointment, I will say “Oh my goodness” or “sh*t” or “d*mn”. Indonesians usually swear by using the expression “Mati!” (“Die” in English), or “sialan.” (I can’t find the vivid translation for this.) I will say the English expression even if I just wake up, which proves the point that I actually think in English and I can say that English is my first language, although it’s not my mother tongue.
Then today my roommate said “thank you” to me, I replied him by “Nggak masalah.” (no problem in English). Then I started to feel strange. Oh my goodness, what’s wrong with my Indonesian?
Correct me if I am wrong. I think Indonesians never reply a thank you by “No problem” right? They usually reply “sama-sama” (same-same in English, joking lah, it’s something like “you too”). My Indonesian friends, am I correct?
I think language is just another skill, the more you practise it, the better you are. When you don’t use it often, your skill will start to deteriorate. That is exactly what happens with my native language. I won public speaking and writing competitions in both Indonesian and English in the past, so my Indonesian couldn’t be that bad right? Maybe I should start to read Indonesian poem and high quality fiction again, something that I used to be very good at.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Life is just about falling down, and getting up again.
I have just received a rejection letter from Credit Suisse, after that written test. I don't think I was able to do the written test well, so I had been expecting that. No regret, I have done my best.
In soccer, after a team loses a match, the team's morale will drop, and people start to bet that the team will lose again in the next match. Remember AC Milan this season? They keep producing mediocre result.
However, I am not mediocre, at all. I am tough. I am able to see every success and failure as something that I can learn from. Of course I was disappointed for a while after getting that rejection. I could actually choose to cry or choose to move on. I chose the later.
To be very frank, DBS is my dream company, not Credit Suisse. I will be having a group discussion at DBS tomorrow and I have a lot to prove. I believe the true success is when you get up after falling down very badly. I don't just get up, I jump, and run. I know I can do it. I don't need luck, I have a great attitude and extraordinary God, and that's more than enough.
In soccer, after a team loses a match, the team's morale will drop, and people start to bet that the team will lose again in the next match. Remember AC Milan this season? They keep producing mediocre result.
However, I am not mediocre, at all. I am tough. I am able to see every success and failure as something that I can learn from. Of course I was disappointed for a while after getting that rejection. I could actually choose to cry or choose to move on. I chose the later.
To be very frank, DBS is my dream company, not Credit Suisse. I will be having a group discussion at DBS tomorrow and I have a lot to prove. I believe the true success is when you get up after falling down very badly. I don't just get up, I jump, and run. I know I can do it. I don't need luck, I have a great attitude and extraordinary God, and that's more than enough.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Kendra Todd's birthday is 6 April!!!
If you watch The Apprentice, you must know who Kendra Todd is. She is the first female candidate, and the youngest, to be The Apprentice winner.
Do you know when her birthday is? It’s 6 April. I know what you think, you are thinking “SO WHAT??” right??
Hello!! 6 April is MY birthday; I was born exactly 8 years after Kendra was born. No wonder I had the feeling that her personality is similar with my personality. She might be a little bit more successful than me now, but I am catching up okay?!
Do you know when her birthday is? It’s 6 April. I know what you think, you are thinking “SO WHAT??” right??
Hello!! 6 April is MY birthday; I was born exactly 8 years after Kendra was born. No wonder I had the feeling that her personality is similar with my personality. She might be a little bit more successful than me now, but I am catching up okay?!
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