It's 4 April, 2 days before my 21st birthday. Actually I don't want to blog about controversial thing again and just having my birthday in peace. However, my heart told me that I should write this.
For the first quarter of my life (assuming I will still be alive until 84), I have met hundreds of friends. My outgoing personality enables me to make friends with anyone, even the stranger I met for the first time. Maybe tens of them are considered very close to me. I chat with them often. Out of them, I guess, only about 10 or slightly more are my best friends. They are special friends, friends whom I trust. I tell them something that I will never tell my ordinary friends. Some of them have been my best friends for years, some of them, months or even weeks.
What criterias people use when they make friends? After doing some research, I found out that actually "chemistry" is a very important factor. However, if you dig it deeper, you'll find out sooner or later, that "chemistry" is actually composed of many components, and some of the most important aspects of those are, trustworthiness, honesty, integrity, and other likeability factors such as friendliness.
For me, honesty and integrity are very important. Liars won't get a place in my heart. Bullshiters better stay away from me. Opportunist, go to hell. Betrayers, sweet-mouthers etc.. the list goes on. I only surround myself with people I can trust. You only have limited time to interact with people, so you better make sure you interact with good people.
For two people (one guy and one girl) whom I considered as close friends (not best friends, yet), I am sorry to tell you, you lose my trust, most probably, forever.
No friend, so far, lied to me that badly. The first one (a guy) lied to me that he never received any out of my 15 calls and any out of 15 other calls my friend made. If that's true, you better change your phone operator. If you make mistake, you better admit it and say sorry about it. You never feel sorry. You think making someone waiting for a call overnight is a small mistake. It's a terrible mistake. Making mistake is bad, but not admitting it is the worst thing you can do. I can always call your phone operator to prove, who's right, who's wrong, but I find it useless. We all know who's right.
The second one is a girl. No friend betrays someone that badly. Last time, you told my best friend that you will support her wholeheartedly to love one particular guy. But at the end, you fall in love with that guy, secretly, without telling her, without telling me. You betrayed her so badly. And you never feel sorry about it. I don't care whether my best friend loves him or not, and that's not important. My point here is, you betrayed her. You betrayed her so badly. Being pretty doesn't mean you can treat your fellow human like that. You not only fail very badly as a friend, you fail terribly as a human.
I think that's all. Like a statue, when you break it into pieces, you can always do something to repair it. However, it won't look the same anymore. It won't look the same. Never.
It takes years to build trust, and only overnight to destroy it.
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5 comments:
may u be able to achieve even more as u embark on to the next phase of life... its the bitter experiences that will make life sweeter... and its these experiences that will teach us how to be stronger... ^^ cheers =)
Forget the bitter experience, friend.
It's really not easy.. if I were you, I may think the same way.
At least we can try... to live stronger and be more peaceful.. Caiyoo...
:-)
Hi Herry and Nicole,
Thank u very much..
However, it's not always easy to forget. I will try at least..
Again, thanks :)
Benny,
Only after 30 years or even more, you'll realize who your true friends are... Time will clear all misunderstandings.
To me, if you or a girl whom I want to protect her privacy here, if any of you have wronged me or using my eyes to see, have seemed to wronged me, I will still firecely believe in my heart that what I've seen is just a superficial layer and I will just trust whatever intentions you had to have done that, cos I firecely believe that both of you place me more importance than yourselves.
COs this is the faith that good friends, like siblings, have for each other. Trust that even though it might look terrible now, in the end, you'll see the truth.
Do you want to be like me? Or you still insist on only using what you've seen and heard and thought?
Try using your heart to believe, Benny.
Cos time will eventually let you see the truth and by that time when you regret, I will always be here ready to fogive you.
Your good friend,
Mabel
Are we just fools to what we can see, or feel. We can never know the truth about the feelings under the facade, they we put forth each day. What we can only do is to make other people know how we feel, by telling them or showing them, and being truthful about it. the world if full of enough lies, then we friends do have to add on to it.
Happy Bdae, Mabel.
Benny, don't snore. :)
Your friendly Squatter.
Ruiping
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